Giant lesbians are scissoring my house
One with oil on her titties soaking through her blouse
My next door neighbor's in the window cheating on her spouse
My cat was eaten by a mouse and now I'm fucking bored

Flying unicorns soaring past my face
Slapping me with 12-inch cocks so hard that I can taste
Being of the glorious PC master race
I think I'll go inside and fap because I'm fucking bored

(I'm bored, bored, bored, bored) Gonna go and practice voodoo
(Bored, bored, bored, bored) Gonna go commit seppuku

The apocalypse is striking fear
As the end of time draws near
I'll down a couple dozen beers
At 9AM because I'm bored

The pope is riding through the ghetto spitting gangster rap
Asian women with their pants off grinding on my lap
Now I may or may not have given myself the clap
Ask me if I give a crap when I'm not fucking bored

(I'm bored, bored, bored, bored) Gonna go out like a boss
(Bored, bored, bored, bored) So the day's not such a loss

Hang my neck from a pole
Fap with a dildo in my hole
Asphyxiation's how I roll
Do not try this at home and sue my ass because you're bored

I'm bored!

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