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J / Jeff Bergman / Giant Robot Love


Porky: You have such a nice girlfriend Daffy. What's it like to be in love?
Daffy: Well, I'm glad you asked

Daffy: How do you know when you're in love?
Well you came to the right friend
Love is like an ice cream sundae
That you think is never going to end
Love makes you feel all tingly
Light-headed and pretty
Just like a 700-foot robot
That's invading a city
Porky: A robot?
Daffy: Exactly

Daffy: But you're not an evil robot
You're a robot looking for love
But there's not a lot of giant 700-foot robots
Around to love
So you glue a bunch of smaller robots together
To make one big super robot
Then you and your robot go out to brunch
And by the end of brunch, you're in love
Trust me,
That's exactly what it's like to be in love
Porky: Can I ask a question?
Daffy: No

Daffy: Then you and your robot lover destroy
The entire Schenectady Turnpike
'cause you're doin' a robot love dance
And you don't care what it looks like
And when the armies of the world come to fight you
You get into your spaceship
And you tenderly embrace while you fly into space
'Cause Earth's not ready for giant robot love
That's how you know you're in love
Chorus: Find yourself a robot to love
Daffy: That's how you feel when you're in love!
Porky: I'm not really following you
Daffy: Alright, let me put it another way

Daffy: It's just like you're a merman that's 700-feet tall!
And you're looking for a lady merman to love!
Porky: Don't you mean mermaid?
Daffy: Don't interrupt
But the ocean is a massive place and there's not a lot of lady mermen
So in order to increase your chances, you travel to the Undersea Merman Mall!
Porky: Merman Mall?
Daffy: That's where fish and mollusks go to find love
Porky: You know, I'm just not really sure what any of this has to do with-
Daffy: And you find a female merman who is working at a kiosk, selling cellphone covers and personalized keychains
Your hand brushes one of her tentacles and she just melts inside
Porky: Tentacles?!
Daffy: Shut up
Her manager gets insanely jealous and stabs you with his trident and you're dead
Chorus: Stabs you with his trident and you're dead
Daffy: That's how you know you're in love!

Porky: Thanks for clearing that up for me
Daffy: That's what I do!
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