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I / Ian Dury / Jack Shit George


What did you learn at school today?
Jack shit
The minute the teacher turns away
That's it
How many times were you truly intrigued?
Not any
Is boredom a symptom of mental fatigue?
Not many
When have you ever been top of the class?
Not once
What will you do when you're out on your arse?
A dunce
What are your prospects of doing quite well?
Too small
And what will you have at the very last Bell?
Fuck all

You can't bear another's beauty, you can't emulate a grace
You can't filch another's mystery, occupy another's space
You can't do another's duty, or take a special place
In another person's history when they've sunk without a trace

What's the reward for being a berk?
A blank
Thick as a plank and looking for work
What a wank
What do you think of the Welfare State?
It's a fake
What have they handed you on a plate?
The ache
Have you considered how lucky you are?
Well shucks
What do you think of the system so far?
It sucks
Aren't you endowed with the patience of Job?
I wish
Don't you feel ready to conquer the globe?
Oh fish

You can't steal another's thunder, you can't fill a great divide
You can't steer another's fancy, you can't change another's side
Not undo another's blunder nor pretend another's pride
You can't offer necromancy till the final hope has died

I'm a second-class person citizen-wise,
This is something I must recognise
It's not my place to make complaint,
But am I happy? No, I ain't
I missed my chance when I was young,
Now I live below the bottom rung
I was put on earth to discover my niche;
Oh Lord, won't you make me Nouveau Riche?
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