If you're cold, well here's a plan Pull the plug out of your fan If you're hot, now here's a scheme Park your botty in the stream If you're tired, check this plot Seek a source that hits the spot If you're snooty, here's a ploy Stroll along the hoi polloi (Cacka Boom)
You'll not have owt to show for it If you don't go for it (Cacka Boom) You'll have to come to terms with it, Get on the firm with it (Cacka Boom) If you don't get to grips with it, You've had your chips with it (Cacka Boom) You'll only come to rue it if you don't do it
If you're lost, well try this notion Find yourself a magic potion (Cacka Boom) If you're angry, check this wheeze Count to ten and then say "cheese" (Cacka Boom) If you're uptight here's the answer Learn to be a belly dancer (Cacka Boom) If you're cornered, suss a wangle Try it from a different angle (Cacka Boom)
Now you can put a name to it You must lay claim to it (Cacka Boom) You'll have time to regret it If you don't go and get it (Cacka Boom) You won't have much to talk about If you don't go on walkabout (Cacka Boom) Don't think you won't mind it If you don't try and find it
No one said you must be good as gold It's what you haven't done That matters when you're old No one said these things are pre-ordained Nothing ventured...
If you're guilty, cop a stroke You only did it for a joke If you're dozy, here's a tactic Tell 'em all they're too didactic If you're fed up, here's a wrinkle Let your pianoforte tinkle If you're wobbling here's a trick Happy go toilet, click, click, click
Now you can put a name to it You must lay claim to it (Cacka Boom) You'll have time to regret it If you don't go and get it (Cacka Boom) You won't have much to talk about If you don't go on walkabout (Cacka Boom) Don't think you won't mind it If you don't try and find it (Cacka Boom)
