This is a story - I promise it's true A tale of a crafty ol' robbery crew They could clean any safe in a minute or two They had hit every bank... ...And post office too
They had snatched every diamond and valuable gem Seemed like nothing could offer a challenge to them Then one Christmas they hatched a most brilliant score: A plan for a heist... not attempted before
So they painted their guns white and learned how to ski They got their disguise from a Christmas tree Then they went to the North Pole as fas as could be They were going to rob... Santa's toy factory
My kind of crew - like taking candy from a baby!
They traveled through blizzards for over a week 'Til they saw Santa's factory up on a peak By the candy cane fence they then started to sneak Seemed security there... was surprisingly weak
'Round the factory buildign came elves on the way Brigning bags full of toys down to Santa's big sleigh They were busy as bees but they froze at the sound When our robbery crew... shouted "down on the ground!"
Then a plan as efficient as clockwork commenced Where they melted away the elves' snowball defense Then they hog tied the reindeers inside of their fence And the helpers soon slept... thanks to gas in the vents
Nice touch!
They blew up the fuse box and turned on night vision Then they utilized shape charges to get inside They drilled through security doors with precision Then manhandled Santa and had him tied
Server him right, big red fucker!
Santa was tougher to crack than they thought He just wouldn't surrender the code for the vault Though they stepped on his glasses so he couldn't see And an ice pick was used... to crack open his knee
Good one
After water board torture nad kicking his balls After hours of smashing his face into walls They finally realized just what did the trick When they threatened to cut off... Santa's beard, so thick
You have got dirty mind!
So he gave up the code and they all gathered 'round To find out just what treasures were there to be found As the vault door swung open they realized why A heist against Santa had never been tried They looked in the vault and they all felt like rookies See, inside there were just... lots of milk and cookies
Aw, dear God - you fucking amateurs! Why d'you think no one's done it before? Dickheads...Teksty umieszczone na naszej stronie są własnością wytwórni, wykonawców, osób mających do nich prawa.
