---

HEATHER CHANDLER:
Are we gonna have a problem?
You got a bone to pick?
You’ve come so far
Why now are you pulling on my dick?
I’d normally slap your face off
And everyone here could watch
But I’m feeling nice
Here’s some advice
Listen up, biotch!

HEATHERS:
I like!

H. CHANDLER:
Lookin’ hot
Buying stuff they cannot

HEATHER DUKE & HEATHER MCNAMARA:
I like!

H. CHANDLER:
Drinkin’ hard
Maxin’ Dad’s credit card

H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA:
I like!

H. CHANDLER:
Skippin’ gym
Scaring her
Screwing him

H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA:
I like!

H. CHANDLER:
Killer clothes

HEATHERS:
Kickin’ nerds in the nose!

H. CHANDLER:
If you lack the balls
You can go play dolls
Let your mommy fix you a snack

H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA:
Woah!

H. CHANDLER:
Or you could come smoke
Pound some rum and coke
In my Porsche with the quarterback

HEATHERS:
Woah! Woah! Woah!
Honey, whatchu waitin’ for?
Welcome to my candy store
It’s time for you to prove
You’re not a loser anymore
Then step into my candy store

H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA:
Guys fall

H. DUKE:
At your feet
Pay the check

H. MCNAMARA:
Help you cheat

HEATHERS:
All you

H. DUKE:
Have to do

H. CHANDLER:
Say goodbye to Shamu

HEATHERS:
That freak’s

H. MCNAMARA:
Not your friend
I can tell in the end

HEATHERS:
If she

H. DUKE:
Had your shot

HEATHERS:
She would leave you to rot

H. MCNAMARA:
‘Course if you don’t care
Fine! Go braid her hair
Maybe "Sesame Street" is on

HEATHERS:
Woah!

H. MCNAMARA:
Or forget the creep

H. DUKE:
And get in my jeep

H. CHANDLER:
Let’s go tear up someone’s lawn!

HEATHERS:
Woah! Woah! Woah!
Honey, whatchu waitin’ for?
Welcome to my candy store
You just gotta prove
You’re not a pussy anymore
Then step into my candy store

H. CHANDLER:
You can join the team

H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA:
Or you can bitch and moan

H. CHANDLER:
You can live the dream

H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA:
Or you can die alone

H. CHANDLER:
You can fly with eagles

HEATHERS:
Or if you prefer

H. CHANDLER:
Keep on testing me

HEATHERS:
And end up like her!

MARTHA:
Veronica, look!
Ram invited me to his homecoming party
This proves he’s been thinking about me

VERONICA:
Color me stoked!

MARTHA:
I’m so happy!

HEATHERS:
Woooah!

H. DUKE:
Honey, whachu waiting fo—

H. CHANDLER:
Shut up, Heather!

H. CHANDLER:
Step into my candy stooore!

H. DUKE & H. MCNAMARA:
Time for you to prove
You’re not a lame ass anymore!

H. CHANDLER:
Oooh, whoooaah!

HEATHERS:
Then step into my candy store!

It’s my candy store
It’s my candy!
It’s my candy store
It’s my candy!
It’s my candy store
It's my candy stoooreee!

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