[LUCIFER] Haha, looks like you could use some help From the big boss of Hell himself Check out daddy's glowing reviews on Yelp (Five stars! Flawless! Greater than great!) Oh, with the punch of a pentagram I wap-bam-boom, alakazam Usually, I charge a sacrificial lamb But you get the family rate
[LUCIFER & CHARLIE] Thanks, dad!
[LUCIFER] Who needs a busboy, now that you've got the chef? (Woah-oh-oh) Michelin-tasting menu, free à la carte I'll rig the game for you because I'm the ref Champagne fountains, caviar mountains, that's just to start!
[ALASTOR] Who's been here since day one? Who's been faithful as a nun? Makes you chuckle with an old-timey pun Your executive producer
[CHARLIE] That's true ! [ALASTOR] I'm your guy, your day-to-day Your chum, your steadfast hotelier Remember when I fixed that clog today?
[NIFFTY] I was stuck, thank you, sir!
[CHARLIE] Oh, you!
[ALASTOR] I'm truly honored that we've built such a bond You're like the child that I wish that I had
[LUCIFER] Uh, what?
[ALASTOR] I care for you, just like a daughter I spawned
[LUCIFER] Hold on now!
[ALASTOR] It's a little funny, you could almost call me dad [Instrumental Break]
[ALASTOR] They say, when you're looking for assistance It's smart to pick the path of least resistance
[LUCIFER] Others say, that in your needy hour There's no substitute for pure angelic power! Who just happens to also be your blood!
[ALASTOR] Sadly, there are times a birth parent is a dud They say the family you choose is better
