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H / Hank Green / The Worst News of 2009


Hank do you remember when all of Georgia fled
that flood that left thousands homeless and seven dead
But while those people drowned and their houses went adrift
The news was about Kanye West....and Taylor Swift

Indeed Rhett & Link, I see the news media failin
every time anyone mentions...Sarah Palin
They dispatch a dozen camera crews every time she poos
While I can't escape the feeling she's just not news

And the swine flu, while a killer, got more love than it needed
Killing 4,000 people while the normal flu, unheeded
Kills 60,000 people year in and year out
People like to have something to freak out about

But then there was that Michael Phelps marijuana scandal
Just one picture and the media flew off their handle
I mean, he did the exact same thing as our last three presidents
something about our priorities here does not make sense

So many important things happened this year friend
Iran's election and mass recession and Obama sworn in
But to us the things on cable news seem so freaking dumb
And we can only hope that we're not the only ones
Yes, we can only hope that we're not the only ones.

I don't think if crappy news gets any better than
The scandals of Tiger Woods and David Letterman
I mean, it turns out rich guys cheat on their wives
That wasn't news in the year twenty five

And one of the biggest stories of the whole entire year
Is that Susan Boyle could sing and bring an audience to tears
With all the pretty people auto-tuned, I think we forgot
You don't have to be hot to The talent Britain's got

And I still laugh any time I see some poor braggart
Proudly holding up a sign proclaiming he's a tea bagger
Besides any confusion about the revolution
I think no matter what they mean the news was an illusion

So many important things happened this year friend
Iran's election and mass recession and Obama sworn in
But to us the things on cable news seem so freaking dumb
And we can only hope that we're not the only ones
Yes, we can only hope that we're not the only ones.

And I think we three can all agree, the biggest load of po
Was that balloon boy falcon who was not in the balloon
Just another year where we kept the world alive
We didn't pay attention but we somehow didn't die

So many important things happened this year friend
Iran's election and mass recession and Obama sworn in
But to us the things on cable news seem so freaking dumb
And we can only hope that we're not the only ones
Yes, we can only hope that we're not the only ones.
But since they're still reporting it...
We just might be the only ones.

Happy New Year, Hank.
And the other one.
Your brother.
Think his name is Don.
John.
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