[Verse 1] Ah, sweet youth The joys of becoming a teenage prostitute Or, in my case, a blood-crazed gladiator 'Til I got stuck on this planet and got hooked on the weed And the crack and the booze and the pills and the speed And the sex and the mud and the blood and the shit Let's all go and hit
[Chorus] I'm talkin' 'bout the Nitro-burnin' funny bong Just one hit, your life goes wrong Nitro-burnin' funny bong Another stupid stoner song
[Verse 2] Fat and lame The claws have been clipped and the tiger's been tamed By a bong and a schlong Yes, now we have all seen how games can go wrong Now my brain's filled with bees, my cock is diseased Laden with pus, it hangs well past my knees A swarm of narcotics could get me through this My manager's gonna be pissed
Ohhh Can you take it? Ohhh Do a monster Ohhh Can you feel it? We won't respect you unless you get high with the boys
[Verse 3] Now I'm old Strapped in my cell as I cultivate mold In the twilight of my years, I am still a drug addict I'm sucking all night long on a ten foot bong Moistened with lotion, wrapped in a sarong You know I live like a king, but I act like a faggot You know Once was a warrior, now just a sponge High all the time, I got a dick like a muskellunge My glorious destiny, it turned to shit Can I get another hit?
