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I entered the room at The Canned Laughter
Ethel was angled across some dude's knee
I offered to clothe her, to feed her, to bath her
If she'd just give me a little exclusivity

Yeah, Depth Charge Ethel is something special
Yeah, Depth Charge Ethel is special to me

Ethel is a woman that a river runs through
She is famous throughout the land
People come and bathe in her, yeah, you know I do
But lately it's getting right out of hand

Yeah, Depth Charge Ethel is something special
Yeah, Depth Charge Ethel is something special to me

To kiss Ethel is like drinking the stars
But to not kiss her
Can make you come unglued
So if you want a piece of her
You better get in there fast
Right now there is a ticket box and a queue

Depth Charge Ethel is something special
Yeah, Depth Charge Ethel is something special to me

Depth Charge Ethel thinks we should all just take a chance
We should all love one another,
It could be special
In the back of a taxi cab with ants in my pants
I can't, I can't sit still I know they gonna send me, I know they gonna send me

Depth Charge Ethel, oh, she's something special
Yeah, Depth Charge Ethel is something special
Yeah, Depth Charge Ethel is heavy metal
Yeah, heavy metal
Yeah, Depth Charge Ethel something special to me

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