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There, right there!
Look at the product in his hair
Look how he knows gay underwear
Look how he stares at John's empty chair
Oh please, he's gay, totally gay

I'm not about to celebrate
Every trait could indicate
A totally straight expatriate
Sherlock's not gay, I say, not gay

That is the elephant in the room.
Well, is it relevant to assume
that a man who knows perfume
is automatically radically gay?

But look at his coiffed and crispy locks
Look how he matches - down to his socks
There's the eternal paradox.

Look what we're seeing.
What are we seeing?
Is this gay?
Of course it's gay.
Or just queerbaiting?
Ahhhhhh...

Gay or just queerbaiting?
It's hard to guarantee
Is this gay or just queerbaiting?

Well, hey, don't look at me.

You see, they write their male roles
Different in those charming British shows
So they dress them in nice clothes
It doesn't mean they will elope

Moriarty: Ugh, why don't you two just elope for god's sake?
John: Impertinent.
Sherlock: Offensive.
John: Actually, would you mind?
Sherlock: Not at all.

Gay or just queer coded?
We'll see in a few short weeks
And you bet we will be gloating
When they kiss on live TV

Gay or just queerbaiting?
Holmes is obviously gay
And if I might add, it's clear that Watson
Swings more than one way

Is this gay or just queerbaiting or?

There, right there!
Look at him flirting with Irene
Look at him kissing Janine
That is a hetero human being
Sherlock's not gay, I say no way!

That is the elephant in the room.
Well, it is relevant to presume
that a consulting detective who
is automatically, radically,
Ironically, chronically,
Certainly, flirtingly,
Genetically, medically gay?
Officially gay,
Totally gay gay gay gay

Sherlock: Sherlock is actually a girl's name.

Dammit!
Gay or just queerbaiting?
So swishy and so soft
Is this gay or just queerbaiting?
Any doubts I had are lost
But there's definitely a difference
Between couples and best friends
Their bromance is the best
And Sherlolly's sure to be addressed

Gay or just queerbaiting?
I still can't crack the code
Yes, they probably should be dating
But Mofftis says, "Johnlock? No."

Gay or just queerbaiting?
So many shades of gray
But if he turns out straight-
No.

Is this gay or just queerbaiting?
Gay or just queerbaiting?
Gay or just-

~ *Four* glorious season 4 Sherlock episodes later ~

The writers.
You lying writers.
People.
I have a big announcement.
I've been saying this for a while now, but
This show is gay, it's not queerbaiting!
I'm glad we've set this gay
Now do you see how the leads are more than just best mates?
We knew they'd soon be canon
No matter what was said

I swear I never ever, ever saw this heading our way
They are so gay
I was lead astray
By heteronormantivi...tay

Yes you were
So if I may, I'm proud to say
BBC Sherlock is
Gay! (it's not queerbaiting)
It's gay! (it's not queerbaiting)
It's gay! (it's not queerbaiting)
IT'S GAY!

Wow, okay, it's gay

HOORAY

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