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F / Frank Zappa / Uncle Meat Film Excerpt, Pt. 1


FZ: We're shooting the uh, title sequence for Uncle Meat right now, which is
the name of the Mothers of Invention movie that we've been working on for
about three years . . . without too much success.
Don: Boy, we really need a hit single . . . Just think, I mean, the way the
world's going today . . . with all the problems in it . . . I think I can actually
change the world, because it's the young people that really need to be
changed, and, and you can really do that through music and everything . . .
This was our last hit single . . . it was really a bummer, they wouldn't even
play it on the radio . . . Oh, well, gotta come up with something better than
that . . .

Don: Good evening, this is Biff Debris.
Phyllis: You know . . . it's too much, I know.
Don: Coming to you from the motel.
Phyllis: Look at that monster.
Don: Where . . .
FZ: Ha ha ha ha!
Phyllis: What are they laughing about? He looks so beautiful when they laugh
. . .
Don: That's what my psychiatrist used to say . . .
Phyllis: Twelve years. It's the same story there with that song, I don't know
what I'm doing, but look, look at the way he's changing . . . Oh, I
remember that in the shower, the first time with the hamburger. Oh,
that was good . . . But, I don't know, twelve years marriage, you get tired
of the same thing. But I don't know, I can try it again sometime. Oh, look
there's Minnesota! He was a great guy, Minnesota Tishman . . .

Don: We're coming to the beginning of a new era
Phyllis: He was a nice guy . . .
Don: Don't you feel it coming?
Phyllis: He was, he was okay in this time. He's washed up now, I heard
about it though.

Ray: What is it you're doing, Mr. Tishman?
Carl: I'm using the chicken to measure it
Aynsley: . . . pool?
Phyllis: You know what I used to do? I used to watch him eat, and while he
was eating I would ask him what he's doing.
Haskell Wexler: What the hell are we doing in this bathroom?
FZ: I'm going to . . . While you stand there and take pictures of that, I'm
gonna tell you the, the plot of the movie. Alright. Basically what we're going
to do, today, is spend some time around the house while you meet the
people that you're going to be photographing for the rest of the week . .
and we discuss some of the absurdities . . .
Haskell Wexler: Absurdities?
FZ: Yes, we're just dealing with the . . . the absurdities of making the
movie in the first place and especially about the Mothers of Invention . . .

Guy From Alabama: You wanna have a circle-jerk?
Aynsley: The who?
Guy From Alabama: Circle-jerk.
Aynsley: A circle jerk? What's that?
Guy From Alabama: That's where you get everybody around and bet yer
meat and see who can get it the fastest.
Aynsley: Yeah?
Guy From Alabama: Yeah, and whoever wins gets nineteen kegs
Aynsley: Nineteen who?
Guy From Alabama: Kegs, you know . . .
Aynsley: Cakes of what?
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