---

When I was young I used to be
As fine a man as ever you'd see.
The Prince of Wales, he said to me:
"Come join the British army".
Too ra loo ra loo ra loo,
They're looking for monkeys up in the zoo,
If I had a face like you I'd join the British army.

When I was young I had a twist
Of punching babies with me fist
And I thought I would enlist
And join the British army.
Too ra loo ra loo ra loo,
They're looking for monkeys up in the zoo,
If I had a face like you I'd join the British army.

Sarah Camdon baked a cake
It was all for poor old Slattery's sake
I threw myself into the lake
Pretending I was balmy.
Too ra loo ra loo ra loo,
They're looking for monkeys up in the zoo,
If I had a face like you I'd join the British army.

Corporal Duff's got such a drought
Just give him a couple of jars of stout
He'll kill the enemy with his mouth
And save the British army.
Too ra loo ra loo ra loo,
Me curse is on the Labour crew.
They took your darling boy from you
To join the British army.

Captain Heeley went away
And his wife got in the family way,
And all the words that she would say was:
"Blame the British army".
Too ra loo ra loo ra loo,
I've made me mind up what to do,
I'll work my ticket home to you
And leave the British army.

When I was young I used to be
As fine a man as ever you'd see.
The Prince of Wales he said to me:
"Come and join the British army".
Too ra loo ra loo ra loo,
I've made me mind up what to do,
I'll work my ticket home to you
And hug the British army.

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