---

the contradictions consume me. at least, this is
something i’d like to imagine, yet can’t. actually,
it is me myself, who erodes at the contradictions. so
much barely an illusion i desperately try to keep. the
attempt of bursting through; a blatant mistake.
somehow, changing everything for the better,
is what i tried and failed at. bright colours mingle
in what i interpret as quiet bliss, as they meet the
water‘s surface and a warm wind kisses my chin.
if only dying would be that beautiful. i submerge
myself in the water and hold my breath until my
lungs begin to burn. my head spins, yet strangely i am
conscious of myself and my body as never before.
the colours that used to be so bright, become black.

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