I'm a dinky-di2 Australian guy and me name is Bluey Schmidt3. I love this sunburned country and I'm bloody proud of it. And I love our simple way of life and the things we all hold dear, like VFL4 and Big Ben Pies5 and foamin' Tooheys beer6. I love our open friendliness where a man can make good mates. In fact, in all Australia, there's just one thing I hates:
I hate wogs, they live like dogs, some eat bananas and some eat frogs, some wear turbans, some wear clogs. All the bloody same to me, 'cause I hate wogs.
They can't speak proper English and they never seem to learn. And the awful guff that they call food would make your stomach turn; it's always dipped in garlic sauce or fried in olive oil; I've never tasted any meself, but I bet it all tastes vile. What's wrong with good Australian food, you Slovaks and you Poles? Good healthy stuff, like pie and sauce7 and chips and Chicko rolls8.
'Cause I hate wogs, they live like dogs, some eat bananas and some eat frogs, some wear turbans, some wear clogs. All the bloody same to me, 'cause I hate wogs.
And the local chip shop down the road is run by a bloody Greek;9 he's open 16 hours a day and 7 days a week, and every cent that you spend there on a pie or on dim sim10 helps to send back home to Greece from a bastard just like him. Oh, I never eat there meself 'cause I couldn't touch wog meat, I usually eat at the Chinese caff that's just across the street.
'Cause I hate wogs, they live like dogs, some eat bananas and some eat frogs, some wear turbans, some wear clogs. All the bloody same to me, 'cause I hate wogs.
I was queuein' down at the Registry, a-pickin' up me dole;11 in front of me was a Yugoslav, in front of him a Pole, behind me was an Italian, behind him was a Turk; those lazy migrant bastards, do they never bloody work? But in spite of what the papers say, there's work for those who want to; the wife and twenty-seven kids are then all the work I'm going to.
'Cause I hate wogs, they live like dogs, some eat bananas and some eat frogs, some wear turbans, some wear clogs. All the bloody same to me, 'cause I hate wogs.
So send the bastards home to Spain and Italy and Greece; and maybe when they've all gone home, we'll get some bloody peace to sit in the shade of the coolabah tree12 and drink beer all day long, and run amok with a fat jumbuck13, down by the billabong14. And every night at 12 o'clock, to show that we're not slaggards, we'll stand and sing our national song: "Advance Australia - backwards"15.
Beautiful!
1. (Australian slang) "wog" = racial slur for people from the Middle East, Southern or Eastern Europe, and the Mediterranean region. 2. (Australian slang) "dinky-di" = genuine. 3. (Australian slang) "Bluey" = male redhead. Schmidt is a common surname in Australia, and people with red hair are more common than elsewhere. 4. Victorian Football League (now called AFL - Australian Football League) is the Australian rules football league. 5. Big Ben is a brand of meat pies sold in Australia and New Zealand. 6. Tooheys is an Australian brewery. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tooheys_Brewery 7. Pie and sauce is a typical Australia/New Zealand meat pie with tomato sauce. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meat_pie_%28Australia_and_New_Zealand%29 8. Chicko roll is an Australian snack. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chiko_Roll 9. This is a reference to the song Yes! We Have No Bananas, which goes like "There's a fruit store on our street, / it's run by a Greek". 10. Dim sim is a Chinese-inspired Australian snack. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dim_sim 11. "dole" = unemployment benefit. 12. Coolabah trees are typical of Australia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eucalyptus_coolabah 13. (Australian slang) "jumbuck" = sheep. A jumbuck is also featured in Australia's best known ballad Waltzing Matilda - which is basically the unofficial Australia's anthem. Its lyrics go like this: Down came a jumbuck to drink at that billabong. Up jumped the swagman and grabbed him with glee. And he sang as he shoved that jumbuck in his tucker bag: "You'll come a-waltzing Matilda, with me." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waltzing_Matilda 14. A billabong is a lake formed by a river changing its course. In Australia, they are usually seasonal, filling with water and then drying out. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billabong 15. Advance Australia Fair is Australia's national anthem. With guys like him, Australia goes backwards rather than advance. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advance_Australia_FairTeksty umieszczone na naszej stronie są własnością wytwórni, wykonawców, osób mających do nich prawa.
