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E / Ekoh / The One Who Holds The Light


Yeah, sick of everybody who watching, thinkin' I have it all
Pocket full of bottles of opiates and this Adderall
Stolen from the purse in my mom's room
Telling me, "Do as I say, do not do as I do"
Thinkin' 'bout the end more than the beginning most days
Feeling like I'm lost and permanently in roleplay
If I say this, imagine the things I don't say
Wanna talk shit? Just know, I don't play
The game won't save like a checkpoint
Wanna speak outta turn? Go ahead, boy
Put an X in the middle of yo' head, boy
I been makin' moves like I'm already dead, boy
Lost soul tryin' to find a way to love myself
I got hurt, then hurt somebody else
Angry every time I'm lookin' back
I'm a misfit with a — to my past

Whole life, I've been looking for myself with no light
So dark in my heart, so don't mind
When I'm drowning again
I made a friendship with all of my sins
I need some help but don't know where it is
Give me some hope if you know where it went
If you really love me, then tell me again (Tell me again)

Yo, Tesla whip, I take off at light speed
I feel the pull of two wolves inside me
Good versus evil, both know and like me
Childhood home just fucked up my psyche
Fighting with demons that hide the truth
They look like some angels when light hits 'em at certain angles
At others, they look like a stranger
So do me a favor, don't try to move
Got blood on my Vans, dirt in the fingernails
A couple of bands that I need just to breath well
Thinkin' 'bout the shit that I done, I don't sleep still
Wonder if the devil sees me in the details
So weighed down like wet clothes
But I still put the city on my back
No time for the hatin' and broke hoes
Escape writing rhymes in this pad
Back in the dark, I live alone
But my worst pieces found a place in there to hide
Took roots and grew where everything would die
If they get too big and hold, I won't survive
So I had to go illuminate my life
In the deepest depths of all the rooms inside
I would learn to love that ugly, but would find
That I still don't know the one who holds the light, yeah

Whole life, I've been looking for myself with no light
So dark in my heart, so don't mind
When I'm drowning again
I made a friendship with all of my sins
I need some help but don't know where it is
Give me some hope if you know where it went
If you really love me, then tell me again (Tell me again)
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