I used to drive a racecar, but i won every single time, I once met the great Elvis Prestley, way back in his prime. A pilot had a heart attack, yeah so I had to land the plane, I once saved a little kid from drowndin' [sic] I invented cellophane.
I used to be a millionaire, I'd drop a thousand bucks a day, that made all the more lonely, so I threw it all away. I've lived almost everywhere, probably right in your own neighborhood. I once broke out of prison, and I hid out in the woods.
It was there that I discovered a dinosaur, and I drive a blue Corvette. I once swam clear across Lake Erie, without even getting wet. Cause I'm the guy who saved the show, cause I knew how to fix a fuse. Are these pretzels complimentary? Well I don't mind if I do.
I used to play the guitar myself, till a press crushed my hand. Have you heard of the great Otis Redding? Well I played in his band. I once worked as a miner, I was an actor for a little while off in France. And my uncle's cousin's brother, taught Fred Astaire to dance*
Cause if you ask me how to Tango, I'll wear down any rug. Cause have you seen the way those kids all dance today, I swear they're all on drugs. I could drink me a million drinks, if a million drinks did appear. But I only got enough, for one more little beer.
*The version that Danny used to play live, before this song went on his album Fibsville, originally went: "Have you ever heard of Winona Ryder, Well I got in her..."Teksty umieszczone na naszej stronie są własnością wytwórni, wykonawców, osób mających do nich prawa.
