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C / Currents / Shattered


The only thing I want is peace,
But all I feel is ashamed.
I've got these sick, sad thoughts
And all they do is replay.
There's no way this is who I'm meant to be,
I want my mind to be released,
I want my demons abandoned.

They always said it was a shame
I'd watch my body rot any given day of the week,
My soul has finally lost any shot of feeling fine again.
I see nothing the same, the dark's here to stay.

But I'm no more a victim than anyone
Who feels like me, don't I deserve peace?
It's goddamn hard when you think
It never mattered if you'd wake up alive,
I often wish I could erase my mind.
No more a puppet to all this pain
So close to finally feeling serenity.
I shouldn't be on this leash,
I will be free, I will decide my own fate.

I feel the cold wind on my back,
The shackles have been released.
Let me out into the world,
'Cause all I ever want is to be free.
I hear the sky calling out my name,
You may be you, but I'm not me.
Let me out into the world, deliberately.

They always said it was a shame.
Why can't you just get over it?
It doesn't work that way, this is a sickness.
No more preventable than death,
I was made like this. Tear out my eyes 'cause
There's nothing to see.

I find myself in my head more often
Than I'm out. This is a sickness,
This is a sickness.
The thought of joy just hurts me more,
And every move feels like a chore.
But that's not me, I want release.

They say the pain is temporary.
They say the feeling isn't bound to last.
We cling to light
But often find it submits to dark.
Dead from the start,
I was dead from the fucking start.

Maybe I know that I'm not perfect,
But I know I don't deserve this prison.
That's just who I am,
And I can never lose hold,
Never lose hold again.

For once, I'd love to smile.
And for once to finally mean it,
I don't want to have to lie.
It's always looming, it's always there,
Always growing ever present in my nightmares
It's always looming, another year.
Cutting through me, it's gone or I disappear.
It's not fair to have to live this way.
I see people shrug it off, but it consumes
And corrupts me. I'm fucking begging
On my hands and knees.
I should be long released,
Why would you keep that from me?

I feel the cold wind on my back,
The shackles have been released.
Let me out into the world,
'Cause all I ever want is to be free.
I hear the sky calling out my name,
You may be you, but I'm not me.
Let me out into the world, deliberately.
I feel the cold wind on my back,
The shackles have been released.
Let me out into the world,
'Cause all I ever want is to be free.
I never wanted to live like this.
Separated from all the rest,
But that's just who I am and I can
Never lose hold, never lose hold again.
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