---

[CASTLEMAN:]
Some people are scared of goblins and ghosts
They shriek at a raven perched on a post
"Oh no!" they cry, "It's a spooky black cat!"
But there are so many things far more frightening than that

Like when I asked a woman I hadn't seen in a while
How long she'd been pregnant, and there went her smile
Turns out she'd just gained weight. "I'm so sorry," I said
And when that memory fills me with horror and dread

I do the cringe! Ugggh!
I do the cringe! Ooooh!

[HEATHER, PAULA, AND VALENCIA:]
More than a twinge

[CASTLEMAN:]
The thought leaves me aghast
Because nothing is as scary as what lurks in your past

[VALENCIA:]
Banshees and ghouls can give a good fright

[PAULA:]
But that's not what keeps me up at night

[HEATHER:]
I think about that time in bed with my ex
When I chuckled at his penis during sex

[SECURITY GUARD, REBECCA, PAULA, AND VALENCIA:]
She does the cringe

[HEATHER:]
It was a full-blown laugh

[CASTLEMAN, REBECCA, PAULA, AND VALENCIA:]
She does the cringe

[HEATHER:]
It looked like a cute little puppet

[CASTLEMAN, REBECCA, PAULA, AND VALENCIA:]
She does the cringe

[HEATHER:]
He went soft and cried

[MR. TRAPANI:]
And that was the night their relationship died!

[GARY:]
I told a date I lost my wallet so she would pay

[SUSAN:]
I hooked up with the bassist of Sugar Ray

[CHRISTOPHER:]
I got an angel tattoo on my upper thigh

[TARA:]
I gave my mother's eulogy completely high

[DEVON:]
See, everyone has sins they want to wash away

[BENJAMIN:]
I came up with the town motto: "Live. Work. Play."

[ALL:]
We do the cringe

[BENJAMIN:]
It was not my best work

[ALL:]
We do the cringe

[BENJAMIN:]
In fairness, I was also high

[ALL:]
We do the cringe

[CASTLEMAN:]
Regret can be a blast
But nothing is as funky as what lurks in your past
Cringe dance!

[ALL:]
Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Aaaaah!

[REBECCA:]
We all have skeletons

[CASTLEMAN:]
Real and metaphorically

[CHRISTOPHER:]
Wait, aren't you the guy who murdered me?

[REBECCA:]
What?

[CASTLEMAN:]
Nothing!

[ALL:]
Cringe!

---

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