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We are merely pretzels
That is all we are
This woman's obsession with us
Is frankly quite bizarre

We used to simply be
A starchy snack that people ate
But, now, we are a symbol
Such is our twisted fate

We've been smothered in the mustard
Of her quest for happiness
There's a lot of pressure on us
This we must confess

We didn't ask to be in charge
Of someone's mental state
Just let us be some happy carbs
Spare us this twisted fate

We've been a-salted by her yearning
To make her life a cogent tale
Sure, it's nice to be kneaded
But, now, the whole thing's getting stale

Oh, can't some soft and chewy pretzels
Finally get relief
We are hurtin' from the burden
Of being someone's life motif

She should switch to pizza bagels
If it's not too late
It's the yeast that she could do
To save us from this twisted fate

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