once a night is never enough, I wake up dwelling on all the times I could've asked for help and how it's all my fault I've ended up in this hell.
just look at how far I fell in such a short time, look at all the pain I've felt and will feel for a lifetime.
I am so tired of feeling this way, I am so wired from this lack of sleep.
I am a human being ruled by emotion, pulled to the depths of the fucking ocean by my devotion to feeling like shit...
been like this since I was a kid.
since I lived through the loss of my innocence, I'm still trying to make sense of all of these fucking feelings.
they're weighing me down, they're wearing me out.
they're weighing me down, they're wearing me the fuck out.
the bags under my eyes are getting darker and darker and darker, darker than the days I've spent glued into my bed.
you ever wonder what it's like to feel like to be me?
just look into my eyes and see what lies behind, looking for my salvation but that shit ain't easy,
I'm scared of what lies behind this haze of emotion
what an embarrassment it is to be such a disappointment.
what a shame, I've spent all these years just wasting away
cold hands and heavy eyes, I'm shaking hands with death but still he keeps me alive.
looking up, trying to tie a noose but it's no use because I fall to the nervousness that's claimed me since my youth.
I'm still trying to make sense of all these thoughts roaming through my head, they're fucking weighing me down.
wearing me out.
I'm just trying to make sense of all these thoughts roaming through my head,
they're fucking weighing me down, they're fucking wearing me out.
I know I've grown up hollow and inside out, I always bend before I break when my mind is filled with self doubt.
unseen I sink into my thoughts, I am the salt the ocean refused...
each dissolved grain toxic to the touch, to hear, to know.
with each year I grow further and further into this stale state of decay.
I'll make my own ocean, a dead sea,
I'll make my own ocean, so lifeless just like me.
load the gun, pump the trigger till I'm dead. all in the hope that you'll see what's going on in my head.
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