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C / Citizen Soldier / Who I Am


As these judging eyes surround me
And silence tearing me apart
Only seeing to the surface
They refuse to see my heart
In this mold that they have made me
Tried so hard to fit in tight
Every day's a punishment
For being human but the wrong kind
All their heavy words I carry
Try to grind them down to dust
But the pile's getting so deep
Pretty soon it's gonna bury us
I see two paths that sit before me
The decision's mine to make
Do I wear the mask and follow
Or pay the price of being brave?

These wounds aren't healing
And I am scared to death
That I'll look into the mirror
And believe the things they've said
No, I wasn't ready for the shame so heavy
Maybe they will never understand
Can't keep facing this fire, I'm so damn tired
Of being who I am

No need to say that I'm immoral
No need to tell me I'm a freak
Don't waste your breath, you made that more than clear
In the way you look at me
The only choices that you give me
Two different ways I can be killed
Hate my life for being fake
Or hate myself for being real

These wounds aren't healing
And I am scared to death
That I'll look into the mirror
And believe the things they've said
No, I wasn't ready for the shame so heavy
Maybe they will never understand
Can't keep facing this fire, I'm so damn tired
(Of being who I am)

Every day I wanna die, but nobody helps
'Cause they're too busy praying I'll be someone else
Every day is full of pain that they have never felt
But they're too busy praying I'll be someone else

These wounds aren't healing
And I am scared to death
That I'll look into the mirror
And believe the things they've said
No, I wasn't ready for the shame so heavy
Maybe they will never understand
Can't keep facing this fire, I'm so damn tired
Of being who I am
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