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C / Citizen Soldier / My Own Miracle


Fake smiles are holding me together
For worse or for better
Cause I've never had anyone
To stay long enough to see the weather
The pain and the pressure
I carry like a loaded gun

I've been through things that you can't see
A kind of suffering
That the eyes don't notice
I'd rather hide when I'm hurting
Than be a burden
Cause all I know is

Nobody showed up
Nobody slowed down
They must have been deaf
I was screaming so loud
Nobody had faith
I'd ever be found
Born into a hole
Six feet in the ground

I had to love me when nobody cared
And be the family that never was there
I had to have hope when I didn't feel spiritual
Had to be my own
My own miracle

Worked twice as hard through the diseases
To make up for the weakness
And vices not visible
No friends to pick up all the pieces
No sympathy or sweetness
No wonder I'm cynical

I've walked a path that would kill most
Where a heart closed
And left a temper
I don't know how to love cause
I try to trust but
Then I remember

Nobody showed up
Nobody slowed down
They must have been deaf
I was screaming so loud
Nobody had faith
I'd ever be found
Born into a hole
Six feet in the ground

I had to love me when nobody cared
And be the family that never was there
I had to have hope when I didn't feel spiritual
Had to be my own
My own miracle

Are you okay?
You need to chat?
The questions I was never asked
I should feel strong
But I just feel sad
So just let me grieve
What I never had

Nobody showed up
Nobody slowed down
They must have been deaf
I was screaming so loud
Nobody had faith
I'd ever be found
Born into a hole
Six feet in the ground

I had to love me when nobody cared
And be the family that never was there
I had to have hope when I didn't feel spiritual
Had to be my own
My own miracle
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