Wake up in a panic and you're at the door again
It's silly just to wait around for your workday to end
I know that you're exhausted, you don't have the energy
To come home from a long day and fulfill all of my needs

Don't wanna tell you what I want
Because I just want you to know
So if I can't get your attention
Then I'll wait for you to go

Cause I've got a date with my bedside table
He doesn't talk back and he's always able
To do what you won't and assess my needs
When I open that door, he shakes me to my core
So you won't have to deal with me later
And you can thank my

Vibrations have been off ever since you came back home
Getting used to how it felt when you were gone
Normally I'd be lonely and would start to crave your touch
Never thought that I'd be satisfied so much
Well I still love you babe, don't get me wrong
But something about last night
Didn't have to talk, just heard that humming buzz
With no risk of a fight, that's why

Cause I've got a date with my bedside table
He doesn't talk back and he's always able
To do what you won't and assess my needs
When I open that door, he shakes me to my core
So you won't have to deal with me later
And you can thank my

All my life I've played pretend ever again
Just to feign a happy ending
But tonight will be different
Cause after two minutes
I ain't gonna hear him say
Babe, I'm fnished

Cause I got a date with my bedside table
He doesn't talk back and he's always able
To do what you won't and assess my needs
So if you get home early, sorry for what you'll see
But my hormones have been so unstable
Now I'm all set, boy you can bet it's thanks to my

Bedside table

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