[MONTAGU] You just need to be more deceiving Make them believe that whatever is in the file Has the British scared, the British worried The British doing their best to hurry To get those files back Or the Germans have us beat That that briefcase holds the key to a British defeat Act as if you do when you don't
[HASELDEN, spoken] What?
[CHARLES] Act as if you will when you won't
[HASELDEN, spoken] I don't follow
[MONTAGU & CHARLES, together] We'll win sure enough with the old double bluff Just act as if you do when you don't
[MONTAGU & HASELDEN] Haselden, you genius, I know you've got this down It's just a simple matter of making sounds around town Yes sir, of course sir, I'll give it my best shot There's a good man Thank you, over and off
[CHARLES, spoken] What?
[MONTAGU & CHARLES] Oh god, what an idiot Monty! I mean really, it's not that bloody complex The man's a complete fool You just called him a genius Yes I lied, he's just a tool And for tools to get moving Then falsehood's the fuel For when you need a moron to tackle a task You call him a genius and he'll do what you ask
[MONTAGU & COMPANY] Act as if you do when you don't
[HASELDEN] Some files have gone astray
[MONTAGU & COMPANY] Act as if you will when you won't
[HASELDEN] We need them back without delay
[MONTAGU] He may sound dramatic, but At least they'll think we're panicked Act as if you do when you don't (spoken) Right well I'm off
[CHARLES, spoken] Should you really be taking that?
[MONTAGU, spoken] Why shouldn't I?
[CHARLES, spoken] Secrecy, procedure, unless I'm very much mistaken that's the rules
[MONTAGU, spoken] Charles, the rules are but a trifling inconvenience and they don't apply to us. You should know, you're a genius
[Charles gasps in realisation.]
[MONTAGU, spoken] Anyway must dash, Jean awaits me at the Ritz But can you check if the sweatiest spy in Spain is out-fooling Fritz?
[HASELDEN] You'll never guess the flippin' mess the British boys are in We're finished if our missing files find their way to Berlin It's do or die, a race is high The Germans will win If Adolf spies his little eyes on what's within Wink!
[SPANISH CORONER, spoken] ¿Qué?
[JEAN & MONTAGU] Monty, here here! You agree? Course I do, you've got it quite right It's not insane to say our brightest brains Should have free rein to do as they like Exactly! You're a maverick, you mustn't be held down Now spill the beans, tell me your dreams Shall we get another round?
I've probably had enough Nonsense! One more for the road The night is young, and I want to hear All that you know
[JEAN & COMPANY] Act as if you do when you don't Tell me your secret Act as if you will when you won't I promise I'll keep it Loosen his lips and maybe he'll let slip Just act as if you do when you don't
[HASELDEN] I can't speak long You see, tonight's the Ambassador's soirée There'll be some spies who I need to lie to But I called to update That my source down in Huelva Just came through with news The Germans have taken the documents!
[COMPANY] Phew
[CHARLES] Thank God So they should make a play for them soon
[HESTER] As long as Haselden's done his job But we shouldn't assume He's in a nest full of vipers And perhaps he's not immune To the pressure and strain Charles, is Monty acting strange?
[CHARLES, spoken] No
[HESTER, spoken] Are you sure?
[CHARLES, spoken] Yes
[HESTER, spoken] Quite sure?
[CHARLES, spoken] Yes
[HESTER, spoken] Then perhaps he's not to blame
[CHARLES, spoken] What?
[HESTER] Some files are missing, sir Where they've gone's not quite clear The loss of each a serious breach It could end my career The contents could fetch a high price for a profiteer And I'm beginning to fear someone here's not what they appear
[HESTER & COMPANY] Act as if you do when you We must retrieve them Act as if you will when you The enemy can't see them
[CHARLES] If Monty's deceiving He must have his reasons
[COMPANY] Act as if you do when you don't
[BEVAN] Cholmondeley
[CHARLES] Sir?
[BEVAN] Montagu
[MONTAGU] Johnny boy
[BEVAN] What's the news?
[CHARLES] The briefcase has gone to Berlin for review
[MONTAGU] So the top brass has seen it
[CHARLES] Are they moving their troops?
[BEVAN, spoken] No!
[MONTAGU, spoken] What the deuce?
[BEVAN] If they've had it for days And there's been no movement We have to conclude They may know it's a ruse
[CHARLES] Oh, God
[MONTAGU] Come on, man, have some faith
[BEVAN] What, in you? You think because they've taken it There's no way to fail But if they see the fakery The invasion's derailed So I'd probably start praying If I were you Because if all of this fails Then it's down to you two
[COMPANY] Act as if you Act as Act as if Act as if you do when you—
[MONTAGU, spoken] Don't touch that! You do trust me, don't you, Charles?
[COMPANY] Act as if you do when you don't
[CHARLES] Of... course
[COMPANY] Act as if you will when you won't
[MONTAGU] There's a good man
[COMPANY] The British are scared, the British are worried The British are doing their best to hurry The British are scared, the British are worried The British are doing their best to hurry
[BEVAN & HESTER] You think that there's no way to fail Some files are missing, sir But if you're wrong Where have they gone? The invasion's derailed
[COMPANY] The British are scared, the British are worried The British are doing their best to hurry Act as if you do
[BEVAN & HESTER, together] So I'd probably start praying If I were you Because if all of this fails Then it's down to you two
[COMPANY] Act as if you do when you don't Please God, we need this Act as if you will when you won't Let them believe it Soldiers die if we don't lie So act as if you do Act as if you do when you Act as if you do when you don't Act as if you do when you don't Act as if you will when you won't Act as if you will Oh God, I can't stand it It's not going to make a plan There's so much at stake when you're Making a man Disaster awaits if they See through our sham, so Act as if you do Act as if you do Act as if you do Act as if you do Act as if you do when you don'tTeksty umieszczone na naszej stronie są własnością wytwórni, wykonawców, osób mających do nich prawa.
