today i cried in the therapist's office
i wouldn't tell her why
it was because i felt weak
but if we share a cigarette
can i lean on you for a while
and rest my tendons
because i can feel their hands on me
their hands which dug under my skin
and pried apart my bones to peer inside
i can't remember how my parts went together before
my limbs hang heavy and my ribcage
is open wide like the branches
of a tree attempting to embrace the fog
so put your arm around my shoulders
and take me home
please promise I'll be okay in the end
even though I know you can't fix me
they asked me if i was okay
i forced out a "yes"
and its what i've been saying
ever since that first time
i lied for you
until i'm not sure what's a lie
and what's the truth
i've been lying for men my whole life
but i can't go on like this
my hands curled into fists
at my sides
taught myself to
keep everything inside
locked away
to keep you safe
some things have never seen the light of day
but right now i'm breaking chains
with every line and every word
i say
though I know many won't understand my song
i hope you few can sing along
to live another day
and chase the monsters in your bed away
the memories in your head
that stay and shake you awake
to the blackness of an empty room
and memories of the sun fade away
when an artist bleeds, the soul to feed
but you must say to those voices
not today, not today

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