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B / Blixemi / Epic Rap Battles of Warriors - Jayfeather vs Yellowfang


JAYFEATHER
Yo it’s you against me
It’s Jay from the Power of Three
I’m back from the past
To fix your knees and crack some fleas

Things have changed since your time
There’s a new omen in order
I’m hauling all your dusty flab
To the ShadowClan border

I’m a god among cats
Don’t cut me short for being blind
I can go through space and time
and I can freakin’ read your mind

Oh sure you can “feel”
the pain that others feel too
Guess it sucks to know your son and mate
didn’t give a shit about you


YELLOWFANG
*Laughing*
Ho! That’s refreshing!
Hearing words come out your trap
That ain’t comprised of woe is me or all your pining, whining bull-crap.

Cut ya short? Nawh, you do that one on your own.
Everyday you sit moan and groan and sound like pappa crow.
You’re a sad little creeper
Walk in dreams of the sleepers
I’ve got this rap so far wrapped that I’ve already beat ya.

Got a lesson to teach, so quiet down and listen up hun.
You might jump the clock but I’m timeless, son.

JAYFEATHER
Take a minute now and take a piece of your advice
You’re the reason the four Clans fell into Brokenstar’s demise
You’re the slutty furbag thinking you can break all StarClan’s laws
That’s a lot of kitten blood running a river at your paws

(Oh!) It’s all that smoke getting the best of your senses
And I see how your delusionment gets to your ‘prentices
Farmed a couple sicklies going down the very same path
You’re so pitiful StarClan had to spare them their wrath

YELLOWFANG
Oh please.
At least I save cats, you wouldn’t know what that’s like.
Letting that poor boy scream in terror ‘neath that frozen sheet of ice.
I’m like a phoenix
And I’ll be rising from the ashes
You’ll spend the rest of your life lacking class and compassion.

I’ve got more healing power in one claw then you do in your whole body.
Thunderclan embraced me, loved me, while you’re liked by nobody.
You’re in a relationship with a stick.
You’re a god-damn angsty prick.
If you don’t get your own way you have a fricken hissy fit.

Why don’t you take the /time/ to pull that stick out your ass
Skitter off you whiny baby you’ve been clearly out-classed.
Does it hurt, now that I’ve exposed your shortcomings?
Poor Jayfeather, I bet you didn’t see that one coming.
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