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Johnny Jones was a first class private
In the army last year
Now he's back to bus'ness in his father's place
Sunday night I saw him with a smiling face
When I asked why he felt so happy
Johnny chuckled with glee
He winked his eye and made this reply:
"Something wonderful has happened to me"

I've got the guy who used to be my Captain working for me
He wanted work so I made him a clerk in my father's factory
And bye and bye I'm gonna have him wrapped in work up to his brow
I make him open the office ev'ry morning at eight
I come around about four hours late
Ev'rything comes to those who wait
I've got my Captain working for me now

He's not worth what I have to pay him
But I'll never complain I've agreed to give him fifty dollars per
It's worth twice as much to hear him call me "Sir"
While I sit in my cosy office
He's outside working hard
Out in the hall at my beck and call
With a feather duster standing on guard

I've got the guy who used to be my Captain working for me
He wanted work so I made him a clerk in my father's factory
And bye and bye I'm gonna have him wrapped in work up to his brow
When I come into the office he gets up on his feet
Stands at attention and gives me his seat
Who was it said "revenge is sweet"

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