This hotel room's gotta lotta stuff
A laundry bag and a shoe shine buff
Thirty two hangers and a touch tone phone
A light that comes on when I ain't home

I ain't home
I ain't home
You better leave a message 'cause
I ain't home

They got a air conditioner for when it’s hot
A radiator when I'm not
Two big chairs sittin' side by side
With a holy bible and the TV Guide

A TV Guide
TV Guide
Great Almighty
It's the TV Guide

I got a second story view from curb to curb
I got a sign that reads "Do Not Disturb"
A monogrammed towel and a bucket of ice
A chest full of drawers and a mirror that lies

A mirror that lies
A mirror that lies
That couldn't be me
In that mirror that lies

They got a room service menu for food and drink
A porcelain throne and an aluminium sink
Two big pillows to rest my head
And a Magic Fingers and a king-size bed

Put in a quarter
Turn out the light
Magic Fingers make ya feel alright

I feel alright
I feel alright
Magic Fingers makes you feel alright

Check in boys!

Oh this ol' hotel's all right with me
They pay the postage if you lose the key
This hotel room's gotta lot of stuff
But I do believe I've had enough

I called my baby said don't you pout
I'm packin' my bags and I'm checkin' out
Just as soon as you hang up the telephone
Stick a candle in the window I'm comin' home

Comin' home
Comin' home
Stick a candle in the window
I'm comin' home

Comin' home
Comin' home
Stick a candle in the window
‘Cause I'm comin' home

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