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B / Bart Baker / Best song ever


So listen boys we can’t wait for your new music video. It’s gonna be the worst video of all time!
We’re talking absolute total shit.
Sounds pretty bad!
Oh it’s gonna be worst than bad.
We want to introduce you to our marketing guy, Marcel.
Hi.
Really nice to meet you guys. I’m a huge fan so listen we need to figure out how to make this the worst video ever! I’m talking worse than any of your other videos, it’s not gonna be easy. You already aimlessly wondered a beach. Had a tent orgie in a random open field.
That was fun.
So, circle jerked in a recording studio.
I’ll never forget it.
Even pretended to ski and ride motor vehicles for no reason at all.
So what could we possibly do that is worse than all that rubbish!?
I think I got it.

First you take our worst song yet
Then you dress Zayn up as a chick
You two can play gross execs
I think I should look more Jewish
This video’s starting to suck dick
But how can we make it total shit?

We are trying to make the worst vid ever
That is why Harry is dressed up like a nerd
What about Liam though? He needs a character?
How about a homo choreographer?
And I can go oh oh oh!
And dance like a stereo!
Typical gay.

Now let’s break stuff!

Nothing in this video has to do with what we’re singing.
Because it’s a cheap promo it’s an advertisement.
For our horrible new movie.
Come on guys we need to make this worse.
OK but let me kiss Niall first.

Now let’s all prance down a hallway together.
Trash this place for no reason whatsoever.
I’ll pee on this girl’s desk.
I’ll throw her computer.

What the hell is wrong with you crazy crackers?

Now I’m in a shopping cart.
Did you know I play guitar?
Nobody cares.
Flip the table!

This video is officially shitty now.

But the one thing that we are still missing is a dance.

NO! NO! NO!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Please don’t dance!

NO! NO! NO!

One, two! One, two, three!

Now we all are doing the worst dance ever.
It’s so bad it’s giving that man a seizure.
Holy crap guys look at that.
What are those strange creatures?

We are aliens who made the planet Earth.
The human race was a big experiment.
And we’re sad to say this video’s proven it was a big mistake so we now must end it.
Congrats on fucking your entire planet.

Hold on please no no no
We’ll stop the video.
It is too late.

Oh shit we’re screwed!
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