Do you remember how lovely it was
When he was a little lad?
Kicking a tin, grazing a shin,
Oh, what a grand time we had!
Do you remember that snowman he made
And the tree that he used to climb?
Boat in the sink, hands full of ink,
That Mother Goose pantomine?

Ah, but look at the bugger now, me pet,
Look at the bugger now!
A silly half h'apeth, a bloody dumb oaf,
As mad as a hatter, as daft as a loaf!
What's all this soft twaddle you keep on about?
A bloody great 'nana is how he's turned out!

I can remember those small paper planes
And that coconut he won,
Footballs and bats, crackers and hats,
My, we were proud of your son.
I can remember his first day at school.
You cried for a week, you know.
Wasn't it fun raising a son?
It's a shame he had to grow,

'Cos just look at our Billy now, me love,
Look at our Billy now!
It's hard to believe he's our own flesh and blood,
I can tell you his backside could do with a thud.
I still can't get used to his habits, my pet,
Nor me, either, Geoffrey; he talks bloody wet!

There's lots to remember...
And a bloody sight more to forget!

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