I feel nothing but this anxiety!

Sitting... waiting... for all to pass
These thoughts whirl in the darkest mass
Void, doom, everything encompasses my spirit until I have no feelings

Another panic attack to start off my morning
And then a cold sweat breakdown at the end of my night
A loss of appetite, the seclusion of self
Complete disregard of my own health
Shaking... my limbs are weak and feeble
I pray to above as in a cathedral
I don't wanna live like this forever
But death would be no better!

My Lord I pray that you take me in my sleep
Because this feeling... this feeling won't leave

My health has seen no improving
Born to live, forced to die losing
My strength just may return
A warrior spirit burns
But every time, I feel this urge
To erase what I have done, I observe
My own destruction, self-sabotaging paranoia
Avoidance, destroying my life from the inside...
Out!

Every single time I wake up I know that my day will be torment
If I'm not forsaken, then why is this such a menial existence
Happiness died, and I try to simply smile
But every mental illness (comes back in a while)
I refuse to lay down and take my own life
But, please, someone lift me from this strife
I want to feel connected!
I want to feel present!
I want to feel existent!
I want my spirits lifted!
My body, my brain, my heart... they are all failing me
I can't breath, can't think, it beats... as my soul's leaving me

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