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I had a dream
I had a dream tonight
That I cut off a piece of the baby Jesus
To offend my friends

But the joke misfired, yes it did oh yes it did
'Cause the piece of the baby I cut off it bled and it bled

I tried everything
I tried bandages and shit
I tried praying to it
But all to no avail

Nothing could keep the baby Jesus from bleeding
Oh no, nothing would keep the baby Jesus from bleeding

I got to stop having these dreams
They are killing me inside
They are killing me alive
They are ruining my soul

But nothing could keep these dreams from hurting me
No no, nothing could keep these dreams from fucking me up

And then the worst thing happened
The baby opened his eyes
And he stared into mine
And he started to speak

He said "Listen boy I'm gonna throw you in hell
I'm gonna make you scream I'm gonna make you yell
I'm gonna make you wish that I never saved you, you ungrateful prick"

So if you wanna be afraid of Jesus now
'Cause his heart's filled with vengeance
And his soul's filled with hellfire
And he's thirsty for blood

So, be afraid of Jesus be afraid of Jesus
Be afraid of Jesus, be afraid of Jesus
Be afraid of Jesus 'cause he's gonna fuck you up old school style

I said, be afraid of Jesus be afraid of Jesus
Be afraid of Jesus be afraid of Jesus
Be afraid of Jesus 'cause he's really fucking pissed off at you right now

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