Brittany:
Alvin, don't lie to me! I saw you making eyes at Minnie Mouse!

Alvin:
Lovepuddle, I was just being sociable.

Brittany:
Really, what about winking at Miss Piggy?

Alvin:
I had something in my eye!

Brittany:
Well, I can't sing "Stand By Your Man" to a two-timing gigolo!
I, I just don't think Tammy Wynette would approve.

Alvin:
Look, Tammy happens to be a very closer, personal friend of mine.
And she told me...

Tammy:
What's all this ruckus?

Alvin:
Ha ha ha, Tammy!

Tammy:
Who are you?

Brittany:
He's a very closer, personal friend of yours.

Alvin:
Well, will you look at the time? Bye!

Brittany:
Oh!

Tammy:
What's the problem honey?

Brittany:
Well, I'm having a little trouble with your song.
Well, you see Alvin's just not the kind of man you want to stand by.
He never remembers birthdays, except him own, and he's always late for dates.
And, well he's, he's he's just a faultless furball!

Tammy:
Look honey. Why don't you give the song a try and I'll give you a little couching.

Brittany:
Sometimes it's hard to be a woman
Giving all your love to just one rat

Tammy:
Brittany.

Brittany:
You'll have bad times, and he'll have good times

Tammy:
Hon.

Brittany:
Doin' things that you don't understand
But if you love him, you'll forgive him

Yeah right.

Even though he's hard to understand
And if you love him, be proud of him

Ha!

'Cause after all he's just a, he's just a jerk!

Tammy:
Control your anger honey.

Brittany:
Stand by your man, give him two arms to cling to
And something warm to come to
Like an old hot water bottle
Stand by your man, and show the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can
Stand by your man

But Tammy, last week I saw him with another girl.

Tammy:
Ah, why that two-timing louse.

Brittany:
So, what should I do?

Tammy:
Dump him.

Brittany:
But I, I thought you said stand by your man?

Tammy:
I said man, not weasel and only if he stands by you.
Does he leave the towel seat up?

Brittany:
Ah, always. And he always puts his stinky feet on my furniture.

Tammy:
So did my old boyfriend.

Brittany:
Ah but you know Tammy, I, I love him.

Tammy:
Who? My old boyfriend?

Brittany:
Ha, no. Alvin!

Alvin:
I knew it!

Brittany:
Ah, Alvin!

Alvin:
That's right. I heard the whole thing. You're crazy about me.
Stinky feet and all. Face it Brittany, I'm irresistible.

Tammy:
Brittany?

Brittany:
I know.

Tammy & Brittany:
Dump him.

Alvin:
What!? Wait a minute. I do know your birthday. It's January, right?
March? Come on! Give me a hint. Is it in the first half of the year?

---

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