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Have you ever been embarrassed?

Like that time in third grade choir
You sang "Penny Lane" by the Beatles solo
In front of your whole and class you bombed
And no one made fun of you

Like that time in sixth grade
When you showed the guy next to you in health class your boner
And he just made a face, he made a face
And he never brought it up again

Like this time you tried to start a polycule and thought
"Hey, this ain't so bad"
But then it endеd with you
In the mental hospital

Like during thе eighth grade DC trip
When the guy in bed with you he was watching porn on his Ipod Touch
And you just went to the bathroom
And stared at yourself in the mirror

Like that time that cheap record player you gave your ex
Put a big big scratch in your copy of Zuma
And you snapped it in half in front of everybody at the party

Like when you were 13
And you would pretend to be a girl
On chatroom websites
In order to sext with older men

Like when a guy you talked to sometimes in high school
Went off the right wing deep end
And you found tweets of his where he calls you his best friend and a tranny
In the same breath

Like when your friend's sixty-something dad
Tells everyone he's in love with you and then
Drunkenly falls on his face on the pavement
And there's blood everywhere

Like when you said you were gonna be okay to go to this party
Even though you knew someone would show up
And when they showed up you had a panic attack so bad
You almost puked

Like when your high school girlfriend had a screaming fit
When you told her you liked men too
And she made you promise that you didn't
And you went along with it

Like when some kid comes up to you at a show
And asks you advice about some insane Russian woman
Trying to take an advantage of you online about two years ago

Like when you realize if you had come to college single
That one guy, that one guy, that one guy
He was so sweet, he could've been your first boyfriend

Like when you lie in bed and just curse God
And wish that you could've been a gay guy
Instead of this thing you are now

Like triple-texting the musician
Who changed your life in high school
Trying to work with him
And he just doesn't respond
Even though you helped him out that one time

Like when a tourist family
Stares at you for a half hour
In the lobby of a museum
As if you were one of the exhibits

Like when you check out the profiles of everyone
Who gave your record two and a half stars on RYM

Like when you wear a coat when it's 75 degrees out
So the corner store guy can't see your tits

Like when you went to that one friend's house in middle school
And his parents swore a lot and it felt really weird and scary to you
Like when the airport scanner flashes the red spot on your crotch
And the TSA officer asks you your pronouns while patting you down

Like when you fuck up the words singing along
To what you just emphatically told everyone was one of your favorite songs

Like when you show someone one of your favorite movies
And they don't make a face at all
Or they look at their phone maybe and every time there's a lull
In the film it feels like your heart will fall out

Like that one time "This Guy's In Love With You" came on shuffle
While you were driving her home
After the worst car sex
You've ever had in your life

Like how incredibly easy
It is to make you cry

Like when you couldn't go on that trip with your friends the next day Because you, you couldn't sleep
And you cried because you couldn't sleep
And your dad came in and yelled at you

It's like when your dad sat you down
And told you the only time it's okay to cry
Is when you are hurt or scared
And you didn't understand what he meant, it only made you cry more

Like how you've been conditioned to cry
Whenever anyone is angry at you
Or wants you to be better
And how it makes you impossible to deal with

Like how you've been stuck in a mode
Where every song you write has to be so hyperconfessional
That it cuts anybody that it touches
Or you won't believe what you're singing at all

Like trying to kill yourself over a girl
And you don't even like girls that way
But she wasn't just a girl she was your best friend
And it was different

Like needing constant affirmation from everyone
That you're doing the right thing
And that you aren't a bad person
Or you'll just fall apart, I mean really fall apart

Like when you believe your intentions are really true
And honest
But they end up hurting the people you care about anyway

When your roommate starts believing he's Jesus Christ
And says horrible things to you out of the corner of his mouth
He doesn't look at you at all

Like when you first show up to the ward in the paper scrubs
And you're crying a lot, and you
You just want to take a shower
And everyone gives you a wide berth 'cause they've been there too

Like when you try to make friends there at the ward
But you have nothing to talk about
Because the only thing you have in common is wanting to die

Like every time
You say
I love you
For the first time

Like when you can't bring yourself to say
I hate you
You know you really know you want to
'Cause you know
You don't really mean it

I thought it was me, when I first heard that I said "That's me!", it sound just like me

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