---

Don't smoke, don't fight, don't light no cigarettes
Or else you'll wind up in the can
no jokes, [don't write | no rights], sit tight, don't fool around
you are a guest of Uncle Sam
stand up, look right, don't slouch and stand at ease
Allow no sex above the knees
When I snap, you jump into the master plan

I'll be damned
well, I'll be damned
I'll be damned
If I drink or smoke
Damned, if I steal your joke
I'll be damned
If I go for broke
damned if I do
damned if I don't

Don't talk, don't fool, don't try to mess around
I'll make a monkey out of you
you sign your name right on the dotted line, boy

I'll be damned
I'll be damned
if I drink or smoke
damned
If I steal your joke
I'll be damned
if I go for broke
damned if I do
I'm damned if I don't, yeah

come on
I'll be damned
if I drink or smoke
damned
if I steal your joke
I'll be damned
if I go for broke
I'm damned if I do
I'm damned if I don't

I'll be damned
if I drink or smoke
damned
if I steal your joke
I'll be damned
If I go for broke
I'm damned if I do
And damned if I don't

I'll be damned
I'll be damned
I'll be damned
I'll be damned
I'll be damned
I'll be damned

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