[Gaston:]
There's a danger I'll be thwarted
And denied my honeymoon
For the pretty thing I've courted
Refuse to swoon
So, the time has come for a murky plan
For which I turn to a murky man
[LeFou:]
To find that feind
[Both:]
Where better than
The Maison des Lunes?
[Gaston:]
I don't take this girl for granted
There's no path I haven't hewn
To her heart; no seed unplanted
No flowers unstrewn
But quite amazing to relate
She doesn't want me for her mate
[LeFou:]
Which forces him to contemplate
[Both:]
The Maison des Lunes
[Monsieur D'Arque:]
I don't wish to seem a tad obtuse
But I don't see how I can be of use
For I lock people up; I'm not a "Lonely Heart's club"
I'm a cold, cold fish
I've a nasty, vicious streak
[LeFou:]
Please speak!
[Gaston:]
It's Belle's father who's your client
She adores the old buffoon
She'll be forced to be complaint
[LeFou:]
She'll dance to your tune
Gaston:
We get the daughter through her dad
You just pronounce the old boy mad
[LeFou:]
And, whoosh! He's slammed up in your pad –
[LeFou, D'Arque:]
The Maison des Lunes
[Gaston:]
Do I make myself entirely clear?
[D'Arque:]
It's the simplest deal of my whole foul career!
[Gaston:]
Put Maurice away and she'll be here in moments
In a dreadful state
She'll capitulate to me!
[D'Arque:]
I'll be strapping up an inmate
[LeFou:]
Very tightly
[Gaston:]
Very soon
[D'Arque:]
But please don't bring him late
Our check-in time's noon!
[LeFou, D'Arque:]
So, wave one bachelor goodbye
[Gaston:]
She'll be my bride
[LeFou:]
She'd rather die
Than have her daddy ossify?
[D'Arque:]
In my sordid saloon
[All:]
So book the church; raise the glasses high
To the Maison des Lunes!

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