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I don't know what you heard about me
But you aint getting a Smirnoff for free
You can sit yourself on my knee
But keep your hands off my P-I-N-T

I don't know what you heard about me
But you aint getting a Smirnoff for free
You can sit yourself on my knee
But keep your hands off my P-I-N-T

Now Sharon, she's in the pub, she's pulling the pints
And pulling the punters if she thinks the price is right
She's into nuts and gin with slimline tonic
She plucked out her eyebrow and drew a line on it
I don't buy her a drink I just get her some pork scratchings
Keep her off my pint 'cause I think her wart's catchin (urgh)
It's pub quiz night and she's bad for my health
She asked me 21 questions and they're all about herself (what?)
She likes my hair she likes my car she's in the Daily Sport
I don't understand a single word 'cause she comes from York
I'm not that bloke that's only tryin'a get her into bed (nope)
I'm that bloke that's only tryin 'cause I'm off my head (yep)
We can leave now if you're starting to get bored
We'll take the bus home 'cause my Nova's not insured
Look love its simple if your sitting with me
Sip your drink but don't touch my P-I-N-T (ha-ha-ha)

I don't know what you heard about me (yeah!)
But you aint getting a Smirnoff for free
You can sit yourself on my knee
But keep your hands off my P-I-N-T

Bur-Bur-Bur-Bur-Burn Unitttttttttt!

F-I-F-T-Y Pence that's me
I work in the burn unit infirmary
NHS pension 'til I'm sixty three
And you know that I'm representing Kings Langley
F-I-F-T-Y Pence that's me
I'm a nature loving geezer you can find me in the tree
I'm accidently known and locally accepted

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